Monday, December 12, 2011

Just Breathe

Today I met with a specialist to figure out what is going on with our fertility. I walked into the office and it took a while to be checked in. There was a mom with four kids behind me in line. The mom knew it was my first time there in the office. She tapped me on the shoulder and said "just so you know I have been coming here for all 4 of my pregnancies and now we have another on the way." She told me that she drives 45 minutes just to come to this office and she just raved about the doctors and staff. Somehow I knew in my heart I needed to hear that. The last doctor I had seen just told me that I can't get pregnant on my own because I am not ovulating and through me on Clomid with no explanation. When my new doctor came in the room she greeted me and was so warm and sincere. She asked me about 100 questions and they were able to fit me in for an ultrasound last minute. She told me that I have PCOS. Polycystic ovarian synsdrome. That was a big phrase. She explained what it was and how it was causing our infertility. She said I was on the right path with Clomid but she wanted to add Metformin to my daily lineup of meds. Metformin is generally used to treat diabetes but it also treats PCOS. Metformin also helps with weight loss. Weight loss and dieting is the most effective tool with PCOS. When you have PCOS it is hard to lose weight on your own. Metformin helps to shed the weight off. I will have blood tests done every month to see if the medicine is helping my body to shoot out some eggs. She told me that this will be a long uphill climb to pregnancy and it is possible for me to have a few miscarriages before we have a live birth. When she said that I just kept telling myself to "JUST BREATH" I wonder what the expression on my face was because that was when she stopped and took off her doctor hat so to speak and told me that she too has PCOS. She has 2 children but she said it was a long process. She believes that she can treat me and we will see where we go from here. It was reassuring to finally have a diagnosis and now we can start treating it and hope for the best.


A couple of days ago I found this quote and it is challenging me and I have adopted this quote as my motto right now in this season:
"Do we pray for chidren? Yes. Do we allow it to consume our lives, resting not until we hold a baby? No. Are we okay if God does not grant it? If not, we are worshiping children and not the King."